I don’t like being a burden. There’s already so many things people have to deal with. I hate to be the one to add onto those troubles. I’ve always looked out for myself, which in turn made me numb, so I wouldn’t feel compelled to deal with these problems. I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I don’t know how these things will be dealt with. I don’t know if everything from here on out will get better or not. I am literally scared for what my life will amount to at the moment. Right now I’m just sitting outside in this cold weather and writing everything that’s on my mind right now. It’s like the silence before a storm, but it seems as hostile as ever. A silence that doesn’t bring peace of mind or anything like that, just the suspense and fear of what’s really to come. Fuck. My hands are getting cold. I’m just gonna go back inside and knock out on my bed. Or just lay there and think.

@4 months ago with 4 notes